Ok...this is for the fellas and the ladies because it can go both ways. However, I'm speaking as a female.
Is it weird to have daily conversations via BBM or text with your boo's (the person your dating) homeboy to the point where you speak with the homeboy more than you speak with your boo? If anything, isn't it your boo the person you are suppose to be speaking with on an almost daily basis?
So your dating someone and your in the beginning stages. Nothing is official. You don't speak with your boo on the phone or via text often because he is always busy or he just have really bad phone mannerisms. So you may speak to your boo once a week on the phone and/or via text, even though you want to speak with him more often.
In some ways, you feel a little neglected because you just have the urges for meaningless late night conversations but that doesn't happen with the person your dating. You want to develop the lines of communication between you and your boo but it's not panning out that way because there is just no conversation when the two of you are NOT in each other's presence. So,it just so happens that the lines of communication or that friendship that you are trying to develop with your boo, you are unintentionally developing it with his homeboy.
You speak with his homeboy via BBM or text just about everyday about random shit. You two just have casual friendly conversation as if you were talking with a friend and sometimes his homeboy gives you advice on how to go about things as far as you and your boo ( his friend). You begin to feel comfortable expressing your feelings and the feelings you have for your boo to him as if his homeboy was one of "the girls". So now your boo's homeboy knows more about how you feel than your boo does. It is his homeboy that checks on you,not your boo. However, his homeboy has not tried anything funny or given any signals that he is going to.
So what does it mean when your more comfortable expressing yourself, venting your random frustrations or just needing a laugh is something that you find comfort with your boo's homeboy and you wish you could do this with your boo? Would you consider this harmless knowing that if you found out your boo was speaking with one of your close girlfriends daily, you would feel a little funny?
Talk to me people...
Is it weird to have daily conversations via BBM or text with your boo's (the person your dating) homeboy to the point where you speak with the homeboy more than you speak with your boo? If anything, isn't it your boo the person you are suppose to be speaking with on an almost daily basis?
So your dating someone and your in the beginning stages. Nothing is official. You don't speak with your boo on the phone or via text often because he is always busy or he just have really bad phone mannerisms. So you may speak to your boo once a week on the phone and/or via text, even though you want to speak with him more often.
In some ways, you feel a little neglected because you just have the urges for meaningless late night conversations but that doesn't happen with the person your dating. You want to develop the lines of communication between you and your boo but it's not panning out that way because there is just no conversation when the two of you are NOT in each other's presence. So,it just so happens that the lines of communication or that friendship that you are trying to develop with your boo, you are unintentionally developing it with his homeboy.
You speak with his homeboy via BBM or text just about everyday about random shit. You two just have casual friendly conversation as if you were talking with a friend and sometimes his homeboy gives you advice on how to go about things as far as you and your boo ( his friend). You begin to feel comfortable expressing your feelings and the feelings you have for your boo to him as if his homeboy was one of "the girls". So now your boo's homeboy knows more about how you feel than your boo does. It is his homeboy that checks on you,not your boo. However, his homeboy has not tried anything funny or given any signals that he is going to.
So what does it mean when your more comfortable expressing yourself, venting your random frustrations or just needing a laugh is something that you find comfort with your boo's homeboy and you wish you could do this with your boo? Would you consider this harmless knowing that if you found out your boo was speaking with one of your close girlfriends daily, you would feel a little funny?
Talk to me people...
*INDIE*
11 comments:
LOL THAT REMINDS ME OF MY BESTIE... I WAS TALKIN TO HIS COUSIN BUT WE TALKED ALMOST EVERYDAY ALL DAY ABOUT NOTHING.... WE NEVER GOT TOGETHER BUT HE IS... WELL MY BESTIE NOW AND HIS COUSIN AND I ARE A VERY DISTANT DOT IN TIME
I WOULDN'T HAVE TRADED IT FOR THE WORLD
Playing with fire homie ... when it burns you dont say that you didnt think it was that hot!!
Women might say its cool, its ok, but then they say for you to be talking with another chick or an ex is emotional cheating. Men say to you, its just talking, nothing is happening, but yall say, what the fuck yall talking about?
Its a double edged sword. You shouldnt even have your boo's friends' info (an emergency contact for the best friend is cool, but thats it)
Everyone has alterior motives, its either you or him ... when shit hits the fan, i hope that you willing to clean it up!
L M A O, YOU KNOW IT'S CRAZY BECAUSE I HAVE AN IDENTICAL TWIN AND CHICKS THAT KNOW US BOTH THAT WE MAY BE DATING, WERE NOT TOO HIP ON THEM SPEAKING TO THE BOTH OF US, WHAT IF SHE FORGOT LIKE WHO WAS WHO, BEING THAT WE LOOK EXACTLY A LIKE AND JUST IDK SLIP UP... It's ok to speak but keep it at a minimum and sometimes you can't trust your own boys to behave around ur woman, esp. if she's fine. I had a friend that had his eye on everyone I dated, were not cool anymore.
lawd i just had this issue with my man last week. however, my bff approached him. (normally i wouldnt mind, but i have a few friends who are skeezers and i wouldnt put it past them to get slick ) so i requested that he cease interaction lol
I've been there before...
Maybe I'll elaborate later...maybe.
Great topic Indie.
Karrie
This is a definite violation here. Even though it's innocent I think it's still crossing the lines a bit. Especially if your boo doesn't know how close you and his boy are becoming.
Because eventually it's setting up for what I like to call a scavenger moment. I wrote about it in a blog. And no one is exempt. But like you said you would feel uncomfortable if he was doing the same so you gotta put yourself in his shoes.
Son, this is a sticky, sticky, situation!! Dudes, just like females, twist shit so easily, you will definitely come out the loser on this one!! I say cease & desist ASAP.
You don't know if dude has alterior motives as a reason why he communicates with you frequently...Shit, for all you know, this could be a test of loyalty & to see how far you will go if the opportunity was to arise & trust when shit hits the fan, he will be throwing you under the bus faster than you can throw them stiletto's on!!!
Its cool to be friendly & cordial when you guys happen to all be hanging out together but outside of that, nah homie. ABORTTTT!!!
Miss Dior!!
Word ...
ABORT
ABORT
ABORT
Control + Alt + DELETE
Like I said I've been there. Although it felt cool to confabulate with his friend, at times it was kinda weird...like dude would check up on me to see if I'm okay like everyday, he'd give me advice too! And of course I listened intently, since that was his friend, I assumed he knew best. I mean it didn't go farther than friendship. Eventually, I had abruptly cut all that extra communication because I knew I wouldn't feel too comfortable if it was the other way around...
Karrie
LOL @ Karrie and Miss Dior with the infamous "ABORT"! Well, it can be a sticky situation. "A test of loyalty"...yes...it very well could be. This is a situation that anybody can unintentionally find themselves in. However, its up to that individual to let it continue or not if they feel this is the start of future problems that may prohibit a possible "official relationship with their boo. Personally, I would feel a way if I found out that my boo was communicating daily with one of my girlfriends. I can be a jealous person.
This is someone's real life situation and there is a little fact or should I say twist that I left out of this situation. Somethings are better left unsaid but MAYBE I will reveal the twist at a later time.
INDIE
I dont think anything is wrong with it... I have been there... I think your just more comfortable with the friend... you have no inhibition... you feel you can learn things about your boo that he may not be willing to tell you... or when you are doubting the situation you know the friend will tell you what's real. As long as on both sides your intentions are genuine... I dont see anything wrong with being cool with your boo's friend.
This has happen to me in my last relationship. He never tired to get with me though. We still cool til this day. he is actually cool with my current now. I mean I should say proceed with caution but sometimes it works out.
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