High divorce rates, infidelity in marriages, dishonest relationships, jump off's, the jump off's jump off..., lack of and/or no commitment, commitment issues, men on the DL (down low)...Lord my head is spinning...Ok...and I'm back...WHEW!
Will it ever be the way it use to be? When marriages lasted for 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years with unconditional love, faithfulness, and pure dedication. While still in my twenties, I have experienced my share of the whole dating scene, as a young person should. Let's just say I'm so OVER IT! At this point I'd rather be by my damn self. I have experienced my share of long term committed relationships too. My thought on that is I still hold hopes of finding that special someone to settle down with but I'm a much wiser woman than I use to be and I always PROCEED WITH CAUTION!....literally.
The thing is, you may have already found that person you’re "destined" (and I use that term loosely) to be with and not even realize it. Unfortunately, with so much fuckery (please refer to the above terms in the first paragraph), sealing the deal of commitment seems to be the difficult part these days. The word "commitment" seems to have people running scared like a leather belt on a wet ass. This brings me to the topic I call Role Playing. Noooo... I'm not talking about in the bedroom. That's another topic for another day you dirty little freak. I'm talking about in the world of dating and relationships.
Role Playing- when a two people act the parts of being in a real relationship but there’s no official commitment.
I know it’s almost 2009 and females are pimping just as much as the men now but I will be going with the majority right now. In most cases, it is usually the female who plays the "girlfriend" role to a man. She is faithful and truly dedicated to this one man. Acting as his ride or die chick but technically HE AIN'T YOUR MAN HONEY! I personally feel these situations rarely end on a happy note. Someone, whether man or woman, eventually gets their feelings hurt.
There are different types of role playing:
Take 1: A female is dating a guy who treats her just as she wants to be treated. He does all the right things, says all the right things and sex is off meters, making it all the more complex. Not something that she even wants to entertain because he is all she wants, she knows that he would never speak to her again if he ever found out she had sex with or was talking to someone else. So now she begins to dedicate herself to him as if they were in a relationship. However, the two parties never had that "TALK" of whether they were officially a couple. She doesn't know if he's fucking other woman when they're not together. So time goes by and she continues to patiently play the "girlfriend" role.
BUT WAIT...the phone calls from him decrease and eventually stop or he just says "This is not working out. I don't want do this anymore". Why? Simply put, he came across a different female who caught his interest, leaving the other girl feelings hurt because she never saw it coming.
Take 2: A female is dating a guy and she is playing the "girlfriend" role at a risk of her feelings getting hurt because she is aware of the fact that he's not committed to her. She knows he sees other women but he don't want her seeing other men. She stills decides to play the "faithful woman" role in his life and just accept his non-commitment to her. So she intentionally puts her feelings out there waiting and hoping that he will commit to her one day and competing against all the other scaly wags he claiming as his "woman". That day may never come after 1, 2, 3, 4 or how ever many years.
So she all fucked up and heartbroken because she chose to play that position and never got that commitment from him. Now she's standing on the hood of very nice car armed with a crowbar under the influence of alcohol and Jasmine Sullivan's "I Bust The Windows Out Ya Car" is playing in her head on repeat....smfh (shaking my fucking head)...hahahahahaha.
On the other hand, some females have no problem playing that "girlfriend" position while still keeping all options open. Some have their plan B, C and sometimes D, E, F G on the side. Some men have no problem with that with a few rules and regulations, of course. You got yours boos and I got mine but don't entertain your other boo's while we spending our time together. Other men will be like, "No, I'm not committed to but you can't be and better not be fucking or dealing with any other man but me. If you are, I can't fuck with you." Some women are okay with that and some are not. The women who are not going for that retreat back to the days when they were kids and resort to playing in their bowl of Alphabet Soup... B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I... Ok, Try not to go too far up the alphabet though, it just gets plan nasty after a certain point and please KEEP THEM HOES IN CHECK!...HAAA...joking.
Straight Talk: Ladies and Gents do what makes you happy and always what's best for you. Every situation is different. If you role play, how you do it and for how long solely depends on several factors. It depends on the type of person you are, how much patience you have, if that guy/girl is really worth it and if it’s something that you feel you will eventually benefit from. It depends on how hopeful you are to find love, it depends on how far you will go and how much shit you are willing to take for the love of that other person, if any. It depends if that man or female is willing to risk their feelings in such ways and play a position they didn't officially land and is still just a candidate. It can go several ways. Just be careful, assess the situation periodically so you can be aware if this guy or girl is really trying to play you for an idiot. If so, he or she needs to get the DUCES and in some cases a good dutty cussing.
Please leave me your thoughts. The good, the bad and even the dirty ones. I'll take them all.
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
*INDIE*
5 comments:
WoW!!!
That was long. I think the best thing in a relationship is power. Not absolute power, but shared power. Both individuals need to have a common interest, a common bond, a common goal or similar likes or dislikes. Either way, in order to get there, you must communicate what you want.
I'd have to say, I'm one of those guys whose had a few good women and lost them before I realized their worth. I don't exactly know why I do it; fear, greed, lust, doubt, etc. Could be any number of reasons. I believe we can all learn to love each other, we can all learn to be passionate about each other, but most times we choose lust above love and passion above romance. So, before you go breaking anybody's windows, have a conversation. Set a date, have dinner, discuss a variety of topics, take a walk in the park, let the romance build. Time for women to take a stance and accept nothing less. Learn what it means to be romanced and adored and loved and cherished and teach the men the right way. We are men, we are lazy and we will do whatever is easiest in most cases, but if we know that you desire something different and you are worth it, then we will do what it takes to get it done.
Yeah...yeah...it was long but I had to get all my points across.
I agree with this statement: Andre said, “Learn what it means to be romanced and adored and loved and cherished.”
Where is the romance nowadays? Romance is what our generation is lacking. I know some females who feel like they have no choice but to settle for less than what they are looking for in a partner. They feel that there isn’t any effort put into the art of romancing.
*INDIE*
SON!
Your beseeeeeerk!!!!
"shared power?"
no such thing as shared power!
the other person can have influence, but only one party has power. Either the woman or the man, can have to presidents!
"had a few good women and lost them before i realized their worth"
you have to know who you are dealing with, and make a conscious decision to stay or move forward.
"lust over love, and passion over romance"
you have to lust after someone to get the place of love, and without passion there is no romance!
"So before you go breaking anybodys windows, have a conversation"
GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD!!she craazy if she thinks im fuckin with an unstable chick like that, and if you are your even more biseeeerk!
KUDOS ON : have a conversation!
Conversation is key in every relationship, but peole dont know how to converse (about relationships). Just because yall speak every day, does not mean yall converse (about the relationship)
"TEACH MEN THE RIGHT WAY"
what are you taaaaaaalkin about??
you are correct in "take a stance and accept nothing less" if they want something, but TEACH MEN?? Naaa, you're not teaching me anything except her likes and dislikes, and ill just punch those in the mental INBOX and behave appropriately!
ok, i agree with --
"if we know that you desire something different and are worth it, then we will do what it takes to get it done"
THIS IS VERY TRUE!
Problem is, most of them AINT worth it!
Vegas, you just hard son...lol.
Nah, but you right, it's really all a fantasy to believe that a relationship is gonna be 100% perfect all the time. When I say shared power, I don't mean shared power over the entire aspect of the relationship. I mean, men will have more power in somethings than others and women as well.
As for the "few good women", that's all on me. I had a phobia about relationships which prevented me from committing to any particular person. Can't always blame everyone else. You feel me?
And when I say "teach men", I mean tell us what you want. Most women, thing we're always supposed to know what's on their mind. We're not mind readers. Women need to start taking more of a proactive approach in their relationships. Some men already know the right things to do and how to take care of their women. But for those that don't know, women need to take a stance and stop complaining about it. That's what I'm saying. Like Vegas said, converse about the relationship.
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