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Scenario: “De cold...my body crashing babes"..."I cannot allow you to come out in de rain, taking a cab to come watch me sleep” and “Sometimes it scares me not wanting to fall too deep too fast especially...”

Why can’t you appreciate the fact that I care and let things flow without nullifyng 'us' before 'us' can even be formed??? Is it so much to ask…or should I be like another 'leech' out there who don’t care for your feelings and could care less why you were sick in bed or offer to come over. The initiative wasn’t yours nor was the choice. I wanted to do something for you that I believed would have made it easier for you to endure especially after a conversation that had you sounding like you were near death. Never mind that it’s rainy and my only port of transportation would be a pricy cab but I’m willing to make that $$ sacrifice to make sure you’re ok. I should have switched to a stand off tone of 'ok' and 'don't give a damn' attitude…hmpf! (needed to rant a little so excuse me). This scene will close with a faded attitude of disinterest that will eventually entail distance. I can almost taste the end…so definitive yet utterly poignant! (trailed off again, oops!)

Now I’m trying to understand why he's so afraid to fall, for a Good Girl, reasonably that there are few left out there, but when there is one in your life and you know it, why cant you just thank your lucky stars and give some prayers to the heavenly father. Don’t get me wrong, my definition of a good girl may vary from others.

Good Girl – Freak (I use freak cause that is what these exceptions are and is by no way meant to offend anyone, if you are then deal with it or don't continue reading) who knows what her life is about and what she needs and how hard it is to work for it, will be the ‘ride or die’ chick for the man who really deserves it, she’ll strut with professionalism, yet boldly play that little black dress and prowl like a vixen who cannot be tamed. She is the freak in bed you won’t ever leave because she has it like that and will do what is needed to please her equal never losing her self-worth and status of her life at the same time. She’s exceptional but ordinary, stubborn but pacifying, nurturing but selfish, faithful yet cautious, good yet bad all wrapped up in one complete package. (this description can be amended at any time due to other points…just keeping it brief for now)

I know SOME women don’t exude these qualities no matter how hard they try and MOST men refuse to accept that there may be a few women out there who are like my description of a Good Girl due to the bad experiences of some ‘bitches’ (and I use the term bitches because I don’t know their names personally…thanks Katt Williams for pointing it out that way) who are always after the power suit (men with money or position or status or just a reputation who can support the lifestyle they crave to have or maintain what they barely can) which makes it extremely hard for the next ‘bitch’ who really may have her ‘own’ and just looking for the individual to match her and not pay for her.

This is the life I guess where choices are most significant and that affects the most.

**Maia Note Well**